This site now acts as an archive only. For the latest news, opinion, blogs and listings on disability arts and culture visit

Disability Arts Online

A Modest and Honest Guide for the Febrile-Disabled / 13 March 2015

SickBitchCrips detest all of you and we look forward to your tragic, pitiful demise. We are outcasts from everything and have zero pity for anyone, least of all you criplets.

We are appalling and nasty, degenerative atrophied SickBitchCrips and intend to remain wheelchair dependent for the rest of our sorry little helpless lives.

Regrettably we recently survived a severe bout of acute pneumonia and we hate ourselves for this, unfortunately a stint in the high dependency unit did us the world of good, no gaping holes in our neat little arses apart from the orifice one skitters out of. Prior to this we nearly drowned in our own bodily fluids but alas we were sucked high and dry in the dick of time.

Our Modest and Honest Guide for the Febrile-Disabled:

  • The no purpose pathetic life of a disabled specimen is to always be false to yourself – you will be relegated to the fringes of society until you die.
  • The life of a genetic defect is not worth considering.
  • No happiness can ever be expected when you drain societies coffers to care for you.
  • The law is changing and spazzos will most certainly succumb as a result. You are a severe burden and an unnecessary financial drain to the wealthy tax payer.
  • A feral animal has earned more respect than you can ever wish for.
  • This is the year when any money you acquired to live an abnormally luxurious lifestyle will be rightly snatched away from you and hence pissing, shitting and stuff like that will become a thing of the past.
  • You will be force-peg fed, suprapubicised , catheterised and colostomised, and that’s just for starters.
  • As a cripple you can forget about having sex and for all you girlies look forward to a premature hysterectomy, no watersports for you my dears.
  • Your best hope for a relationship is the one you develop with your bedpan/hoist/crutch/guide dog/cochlear implant/mummy and daddy.
  • Heroin, coke and MDMA/other will be available to you in plentiful supply, dirty needles de rigueur.