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‘Uncensored 00’ / 24 October 2014

Brown smear on yellow Post-It note.

100 Days to Defecate This Shit

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Sick Bitch Crips – are back and frantically rummaging up their nasal passages to find  olfactory ensheathing cells (OECs) that will transform them into Hussein Bolt. 

They don’t understand all the fuss but apparently taking teeny tiny steps, and hobbling along with calipers and a walking frame, is even more impressive than man landing on the moon. 

Sick Bitch Crips, proudly admit that they are helpless and pathetic, defined by their trolleys permanently – and they love it unashamedly – but secretly they are bi-curious bona fide bitches.

The Sick Bitch Crips are currently dabbling in Coke and have aspirations to join the foot and mouth painting disease club in time for the Christmas rush. They are delighted to premiere their first brave attempt which will make hearts bleed and have devotees weeping all over their smocks.

The painting entitled “100 Days to Defecate This Shit” is their first heroic experiment to smear oil on canvas with their tongue. In this action painting think Annie Sprinkle’s Tit Prints mixed with Stuart Brisley’s Museum of Ordure.

Sick Bitch Crips were born without heads arms and feet and minus skeletons, a rare condition more commonly known as SMA (Smothering Mother’s Aureole). They hope to inspire the disabled to be crafty but are aware that very few sick disabled people have any artistic merit, or indeed any merit at all.

SBC are expecting to raise much needed awareness and funds for their hot appeals: ‘Forgive Mummy for Killing Her Floppy Babies & It’s Okay to Kill Paralympians’. Just like the Ebola virus, they want their appeals to spread as much as possible, and with SBC coming from the developed world this will be a doddle.