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Disability Arts Online

Finding My Words Everywhere / 21 February 2013

Something Fishy This Way Smells

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Just the other day I was doing some browsing on the net, looking for a disabled artist someone else had told me about. I didn’t have her name. I had some connections, some concepts, some sites to visit. I was on one of the latter, just scrolling as the sun came through the window of the carriage I travelled in, when suddenly there I was looking back at me. A mirror, reflecting my lovely visage. I was shocked. Horrified. It was like I’d caught an eel at the riverbank. A whole review stolen; hook, line and sinker. I had sent a link to Bass (it was about them after all) but, I’d written it for Anchovy, and now here it was again on Carp. I felt mortally wounded. As far as I know Bass, hadn’t asked Anchovy. Maybe they were a bigger fish. They’d just gone and given it to Carp who were probably a size or two up on Bass as well. And I guess ultimately, once the shock had subsided, I love Anchovy, Bass and Carp equally.

Later…. catching up on unread emails. The one’s I hadn’t been in a hurry to read but the ones that may contain some useful information that may or may not be worth reading when I followed a link and blow me down. There I was again. Only this time, more gloriously. Someone….. an arts company had read a review I had written about them and had taken a chunk – the biggest phrase that ever carried my name. I didn’t mind. I felt happy. They hadn’t taken everything. Only a few bits that they felt would be good for them. It was a blessing.

I’d previously had little snippets taken. A phrase like ‘this truly is the Dogfish Eel’ which I’d recognise as being uniquely mine regardless of whether it had carried my name and I’d felt honoured. Someone loved that little bit and felt they could use it to promote themselves. Let it be.

It was just the act of taking the whole wang dang doodle that had got to me. Still does. Because in truth I had written this a whole lot better, whilst on that train, with Aubergine, Broccoli, and Cabbage being a lot tastier than Anchovy, Bass and Carp, a lot more succinct and in touch with the feelings of the time, when we went through a tunnel and all that steam just disappeared into internet space. Teach me to write online and not in word.